"Why fit in when you were born to stand out." Anna Wintour.
 
You may get verbally abused in the street by teens who look like rats, little rat kids who wear trousers with elasticated ankles, but this is good, it means they don't see you as one of them and you should be happy about that. Since when is it okay for people, other than toddlers, to wear trousers with elasticated ankles?
 
Size-wise this vest can be altered using velcro strips at the waist and shoulder, around the chest/stomach it goes from 80-110cm. From the shoulder to the bottom it is 45cm.  It is filled with 1cm thick recycled foam to give it more body and shape.
 
Warning - This is NOT body armour, please only wear it to confuse people who shop at Kmart and people who buy their underwear from Lidl or Aldi.
 
Fabric - 100% recycled poly/cotton, lined with 1cm thick recycled foam.